The journey of rebellion is never as glorious as it seems it will be when first setting out. Either your conscience nags you and won't let you settle into it or the excitement of getting away with whatever it is has grown so much to be dull and boring and no longer satisfying.
It's time for healing, time to move on. It's time to fix what's been broken too long. Time to make right what has been wrong. It's time to find my way to where I belong. Time for a milestone, time to begin again, reevaluate who I really am.
Again recently I was presented with the statement "I do what I do because I believe what I believe". But before that, I heard this lesson and am trying to take it to heart: Yes, God is excited about our life-long journey of redemption and the people we will become, but He also loves you for the person you are now, just as you are.
Just as I am, the person I am now - slightly blatantly rebellious, sad that I am not further along on the path of holiness, a little doubtful that healing is for all and I am one of many and now really means now, more flaky than faithful, cracked and need to be shattered and rebuilt...
Maybe it's because what I cannot be, He is and what I cannot do, He does. He waits for me to return from my waywardness and welcomes me back, walks with me and teaches me along the way, restores me, is always faithful to me even when I am not to Him, skillfully shapes and molds me with every twist and turn and bump my life takes....
There's a wave that's crashing over me and all I can do is surrender. Jesus, rain on me with love until I drown.
I miss you, friend. Hope you are well.
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