Ridin' Down the Highway

It was a little foggy on my way to work this morning. Actually really foggy, until I got to Midtown. There’s one lane on that end of Main St. because of the Light Rail tracks. When I get to Holman, I see a man walking in the middle of the street just past the light. I slow down so that he can get out of the way without me hitting him, and as I do, I get a very good look at him. He looks so lost – he is tall and extremely thin. Where his shirt hangs open, I can see the bones of his ribs poking through his skin. His jeans are torn and dirty. I didn’t see if he was wearing shoes. I sighed, and my heart broke as I wondered how many more of him there are.

I’m not a stranger to the homeless. Some are asleep under the old Sears storefront when I cruise by in the morning. Many visit the church to get a lunch and a clean change of clothes. There is one woman who sits always at the bus stop at Main and Clay; I pass her everyday on the way home. I just wish there was something more I could do. I know that nothing is free and it costs money to run programs and agencies that help men and women and children and families in this situation. I guess what I don’t understand is how we live in a nation with such wealth and still have such a large number of people homeless and on the street.

In Heaven...Still on Earth

Last night I went to the Chris Tomlin/Israel Houghton Hello Love Tour Concert. The feeling of worshipping with an arena full of people, brothers and sisters, was amazing. There was a point where all of the voices in the room were singing the chorus of How Great is Our God. Beautiful. Chris went on to talk about last year's tour and how he learned the words to this song in the language spoken in each world city he went to. And then he sang How Great is Our God in spanish, then in russian. And I closed my eyes and remebered the times in chapel that Jose Velasquez prayed in spanish, and when Yun-Hi prayed in Korean and got just a glimpse of heaven. The night was truly amazing.

We also sang Amazing Grace together. And when we got to the chorus my chains are gone/i've been set free/my God, my Savior has ransomed me/and like a flood His mercy rains unending love, amazing grace, Chris said something along the lines of you can't lift your hands to worship God if they are chained, so give it to Him and in faith, raise your hands in freedom. And I realized that it is a daily giving it to Him, believing that He will take it and rain down mercy and love on me until I drown.

One word I heard over and again last night: beautiful. And truly it is.

I miss you, friend.

Flip the Switch

I think I was just struck by lightning. Well, not literally. But I did have a lightbulb-glowing-above-my-head realization.

Today has not been the best. I was crabby at 7:43 when I first sat down at my desk this morning. I've been a litte, okay, really testy. Around 10 a.m., I'd decided that today was definitely not going to be the greatest. My to-do list has gotten shorter, but the can-you-please-do-this-even-though-it's-not-your-job list has gotten longer. A few minutes ago, I gave up on trying to make this day any better.

Walking back to my desk, I figured just how I was going to wind down once I got home. A shameful compulsive behavior; actually trying to quit. In the meantime I don't feel like learning a new one. Bad, foolish, I know, but honest.

I thought, "Well, I have three more days to be in hell." I'm hoping to go cold turkey really soon. And then a second later, "I can be in hell as long as I want, really. I have to decide to get out."

I can choose to stay in this pit of shame and sickness or I can get on God's team and fight my way out. I can choose instant gratification or lasting satisfaction. News, huh? Maybe only to me.

Come ye sinners, poor and needy, weak and wounded, sick and sore. Jesus ready stands to save you, full of pity, love, and power. Come ye thirsty, come and welcome God's free bounty glorify. True belief and true repentance and every grace that brings you nigh...

Will I rise and go to Jesus?

The Angels Cry

We fall down, we lay our crowns (my junk, all the stuff I hold onto and sometimes want more than I want God or the things of God) at the feet of Jesus (and find) the greatness of mercy and love at the feet of Jesus.

And we cry holy, holy, holy is the Lamb.

Bring me back to You. Overwhelm me with Your love. Help me understand how special I am to You, how much You cherish me, and how much that matters.

I miss you, friend.