Flip the Switch

I think I was just struck by lightning. Well, not literally. But I did have a lightbulb-glowing-above-my-head realization.

Today has not been the best. I was crabby at 7:43 when I first sat down at my desk this morning. I've been a litte, okay, really testy. Around 10 a.m., I'd decided that today was definitely not going to be the greatest. My to-do list has gotten shorter, but the can-you-please-do-this-even-though-it's-not-your-job list has gotten longer. A few minutes ago, I gave up on trying to make this day any better.

Walking back to my desk, I figured just how I was going to wind down once I got home. A shameful compulsive behavior; actually trying to quit. In the meantime I don't feel like learning a new one. Bad, foolish, I know, but honest.

I thought, "Well, I have three more days to be in hell." I'm hoping to go cold turkey really soon. And then a second later, "I can be in hell as long as I want, really. I have to decide to get out."

I can choose to stay in this pit of shame and sickness or I can get on God's team and fight my way out. I can choose instant gratification or lasting satisfaction. News, huh? Maybe only to me.

Come ye sinners, poor and needy, weak and wounded, sick and sore. Jesus ready stands to save you, full of pity, love, and power. Come ye thirsty, come and welcome God's free bounty glorify. True belief and true repentance and every grace that brings you nigh...

Will I rise and go to Jesus?

The Angels Cry

We fall down, we lay our crowns (my junk, all the stuff I hold onto and sometimes want more than I want God or the things of God) at the feet of Jesus (and find) the greatness of mercy and love at the feet of Jesus.

And we cry holy, holy, holy is the Lamb.

Bring me back to You. Overwhelm me with Your love. Help me understand how special I am to You, how much You cherish me, and how much that matters.

I miss you, friend.